Mentally Deranged
by Shadanakarah
Summary: A Modern AU OOC story of Ciri and Avallac'h with quite a simple plot - with Ciri being a student and Avallac'h a teacher of Philosophy. Translation from Russian as usual. Pairing: Ciri/Avallac'h, Eredin
1. Chapter 1

\- Well? Are you coming or not? - asked red-haired Triss, playing with a fiery lock with her finger.

Ciri crinkled her nose and looked away.

\- Nah. What am I going to do there?

\- You've showed up only once in half a year. You're not going to get your pass.

\- I'll have to do some studying then.

\- That's not very smart of you. You could have sat through all the lectures, doing nothing. And now you'll have to sweat cramming for the exam.

\- I have no wish to look at that maniacal phiz more than it's necessary. Perhaps one more time at the exam but not more than that. One look at him is enough to tell he's mentally deranged.

\- Pray, what makes you think so? I've never seen anyone so reserved in my whole life.

\- And that's what's disturbing. Most maniacs are like that. You never expect them to be what they truly are. One minute they're as cute as a kitten and the next you get raped.

\- If so, he's not one bad-looking rapist at all. Whatever, do what you see fit. But I don't think he'll be looking for you specifically in class: you're not exactly Madonna, you know. But all in all, you're right: there are only two classes left; attending them would not change anything for you.

Ciri chuckled and reached for cigarettes in her keister. At the moment she was wearing a pair of ragged skinny jeans, a worse for wear top with a huge hole on the back, well hidden by a tiny waistcoat. High heels, numerous chains and bracelets and heavy make-up finished the look.

Ciri lit up a cigarette, and nasty smelling smoke filled Triss' lungs.

\- You're just like your father. Well, I'd better be going or I'll be late.

* * *

At first sight Mr Avallac'h Caomhan, a lecturer in philosophy, could make quite an impression. Middle-aged, neat, perfectly affable, with a quiet melodical voice, tall, with a svelte physique and an amiable triangular face and shoulder-length platinum hair. But if one could take a closer look at him, one would notice something prickly and wry behind the calm of his almond-shaped aquamarine eyes. It was not something of a direct threat but whatever it was, Ciri did not wish to see it a second time in her life.

It was then, on their very first (and last) meeting that he spotted Ciri, when a change passed over his usually reserved countenance. He blushed and his cold eyes gave away his fury and contempt. However, he recollected himself quickly and called the roll which was not a common thing with him. Called for Ciri's name. Locked his eyes on hers for a brief moment, scowling.

He swallowed hard and with an effort made himself go on with a lecture but after only a few minutes it seemed like nothing had happened. He had an easy-flowing manner and was a fairly good raconteur. On top of that, truth be told, he was not that bad-looking. The female part of the students looked at him with obvious interest. The male part took a nap.

The first half of the class Ciri wondered if it had been just her imagination when Mr Caomhan had given her _that look_ of his. But in the end she was just lulled to sleep by Avallac'h's monotonous drowsy voice. These days she needed sleep like nothing else in the world as at night she always had plenty of things to do. One could get enough sleep in class and night time was made for fun, at least that was what Ciri always thought. Besides, right after Philosophy she was to have her first Forensics class and the reader would be none other than Mr Eredin Breacc Glas - a tall gorgeous looking elf with a godlike physique and a mass of long thick black hair. His charms were known to be supreme and had effect not only on females but at times on males as well. His authority was never questioned by anyone. If he wished, he could kick any student out of his class at any time without facing any unwanted consequences afterwards. He was feared, and loved, and worshipped beyond measure. Unfortunately, his subject was quite sticky, but Eredin could always flavor that stickiness with his huge sex appeal. In other words, attending his class was sheer pleasure.

And today Ciri was shirking Philosophy again which had not been her intention, not initially at least. She had just wanted to miss one or perhaps two classes. Then it came to twenty-two. And now attending today's class was completely unnecessary - she would have to take the exam anyway. And she would have to face Mr Caomhan's maniacal phiz one more time - nothing to be done about it. So be it.


	2. Chapter 2

There were two more hours left until gorgeous Eredin's class. And there was nothing at all to do until then. But she could still take a nap. At a refectory, for instance. She threw the cigar butt away and entered the building.

However, as it turned out, she was not destined to reach the refectory at that very moment, as she unexpectedly crossed path with the very owner of the maniacal phiz, Mr Avallac'h Caomhan.

"Holy shit! What in the name of the fucking elf is he doing here?"

For a while they looked at each other in astonishment. Ciri decided to play dumb, lowered her gaze and pretended not to have recognized him (they'd met only once, after all) but his cold melodical voice stopped her dead in her tracks.

\- Have you not recognized me, Cirilla?

"Too late to play blind and deaf."

\- Ah, it's you, Mr Caomhan, - she had to lift her eyes briefly, only to meet his mocking, haughty face. - Did not recognize you, indeed. I'm sorry.

\- Not at all, that's not your fault. It's just me being so unremarkable. Really hard to notice, - he flashed his ambiguous smile at her.

"How creepy," - she thought.

\- But what are you doing here? - she asked and regretted it instantly.

\- I was about to ask you the same question.

\- But aren't you having a class in, - she looked at her wrist watch, - ten minutes?

\- Is that so? Thank you for reminding me. You could be my personal secretary, Cirilla, you know that?

\- But you are being late, aren't you? - she looked at him almost pleadingly. - And that's the wrong building.

\- Is that so?

Ciri blushed, feeling embarrassed, while Avallac'h was looking at her with an air of a mantis that had just found its prey. Suddenly, she saw a thaw in his stiff merciless look.

\- I have had some issues to discuss with your dean, - he explained, - and at the moment I am on my way back... I have left a message for your colleagues lest they should question my absence but it's only a matter of ten-fifteen minutes, really.

\- Ah, - Ciri would not know what to say.

\- What about you, Cirilla? Have I ever wronged you in any way that you seem to be so reluctant to see my face?

\- I'm amazed you remember my name at all.

\- I remember everyone who ignores me.

"What is that lofty grin of yours supposed to mean, ah, Mr Caomhan? If you think, you've cornered me, you're damn wrong."

\- I... I've been... sick.

\- All this time? For half a year? You don't look sick to me at all, so, I presume, it must be something that has to do with your memory, am I right?

Ciri was biting her lips.

\- So, Ciri, why are you keeping silent? Or have you lost the ability of articulate speech? However, I'm happy to know that you still remember my name which means I made quite an impression half a year ago. I would even go so far as to offer you to accompany me to the class. Meanwhile, you could think of a better lie to tell me concerning your long-term absence. I could even help you with that.

Ciri felt she was about to cry.

\- I... I'd be glad to but...

\- Let me guess, you're about to tell me that right now you still have some errands to do but you sure don't remember what they are exactly, - he said with a honeyed tone.

\- On the contrary, I do remember quite well. I have to help my dad at home... today.

\- I understand. Well, some other time then. It's too bad, though. The weather is exceptionally warm today.

"What are you scowling at, prick?"

\- You are still welcome to attend the next class, Cirilla.

"As if it would change anything."

Ciri was still lost for words but the elf didn't not expect any answer from her - he just turned and strode away, gracefully.

\- Dork!


	3. Chapter 3

For over an hour Ciri had been sitting at sixes and sevens at the refectory, her face buried in her hands. That shmuck of an elf had made havoc of her thoughts, made her feel as if she had just stepped in a pile of stinky and utterly vomitous mass. She had even completely forgotten that in merely half an hour she was to face the adorable Eredin Breacc Glass. All she could think of was that in no way remarkable but haughty elvish face. So, he wished to see her in class the next time. Very well - he would see her. And he would regret it for she would have him cringe with shame and embarrassment.

\- Shirking as usual, huh? - Ciri heard a sniffy chuckle behind her back.

She raised her heard only to see Yennefer standing right next to her. All in black, Yenn never changed her colors, a glamorous show-off, as always half-naked and with that bitchy look on her beautiful face.

\- Speak for yourself, - retorted Ciri icily.

\- I haven't missed a single class until today - there's no need to attend the two last ones, I'm going to get my pass anyways.

\- I could also say that I would not benefit from visiting the last classes: our elf will not let me pass without taking the exam. I tell you what, I just bumped into that "philosopher's stone" only an hour ago. I seem to have run out of luck.

\- You're talking about Mr Caomhan?

\- Whoooo eeelsssse?

\- Here?

\- Yes!

\- He got lost or what?

\- How the hell am I supposed to know?

\- What did he want from you?

\- Hm. He wanted to hear from me a plausible excuse for my absence.

\- Do you have one?

Ciri shrugged her shoulders.

\- I guess, I have, and my excuse is him being a complete prick.

\- Hm, - meanwhile Yenn took a seat by Ciri's side, - sure, he is a prick but not more of a prick than anybody else. Just your average elf.

\- Well, more than average, I would say. His face is quite cute.

\- Ah, nah, he's that puny little thing.

\- He's quite tall actually.

\- I'm not talking about his height. He's that pale skeleton-like type. Not what I like at all. Perhaps he should do some exercise, like twenty push-ups a day, I dunno.

\- A brawny philosopher? A bit over the top, don't you think? Maybe a monocle would complement him?

\- He has glasses already.

\- Seriously?

\- Why not? I tell you, our philosopher is rubbish of a guy and looks like homo. At least, he's nothing like Eredin with that body of his. So many things to explore underneath his clothes.

\- Thanx for reminding me.

\- Sad as it is, as far as I know, Mr Breacc Glas, has never been spotted romancing a student.

\- Such a shame.

\- However, I cannot say the same about Mr Caomhan.

\- What? - Ciri bugged out her eyes.

\- Did you not hear that story?

\- What story?

\- About a girl who noosed him like ten years ago... What was her name? Like Lara or something.

\- No "happily-ever-after", I guess?

\- No. She spurned him in the end and found another prey. And Avallac'h turned out less noble than he might seem to be. Wanted to have her expelled by not giving her a pass in his subject. But that gal was our dean Auberon's daughter. It goes without saying that the one who got kicked out was Avallac'h himself. He was not fired, of course, but had to change his habitat, so to say. He was as mad as a wet hen after that. With time he got better. I even haven't heard him put a spoke in anybody's wheel recently. But it seems like he's given up females all at once. So, if you ask me, I think he has a thing for guys now.

\- Hm, and I thought he was born a prick.

\- Anyways, - said Yenn, changing the subject, - are you ready to meet the un-dead?

\- Oh, shiiiiit! It cannot be today! Tell me it's not today!

\- But it is.

\- I am not ready to face it today, - Ciri shook her head in distress. She could not believe it could have slipped from her memory that she was to attend the dead-house today together with her group. Mr Breacc Glas had warned them like fifty times already but Ciri had not thought that day would come so soon. She was scared shitless of death, of that smell, that the dead would rise and... Or worse even - that she would puke right in front of Eredin and then she would faint. She simply could not face such indelible disgrace. Not now, at least. However, it had been her idea to follow in her dad Geralt's footsteps and now she had to deal with the consequences of her own choice. She could have chosen management or something. But it was late now: the dead were waiting.

\- I'm not going, - repeated Ciri resolutely. - Not for all the treasures of the world. Not today.

\- What for are you waiting then? For Mr Caomhan to save you from zombies?

\- I'm scared of them, it's true but he is more repulsive to me than any of the undead.

\- Well, I leave you here then, - Yenn got up, - because I am going. I'll just look at Eredin's butt all the time and won't notice much else.

\- He'll be wearing an overall...

\- Kinda too bad. I've been imagining him on that table naked, pretending to be dead.

\- You're sick, you know.

So, Yennefer left. Ciri sat at the refectory for a little while longer. She decided she would not go anywhere today after all but would drop by to see Mr Glas tomorrow. She would think of some lies to tell, like she always did, would ask for his personal assistance, would wear heels and come to see him half-naked just like Yenn. Perhaps he would succumb to her female charms then.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning she did come to see the elf after all. She was half-naked and high-heeled, with extensive make-up all over her face. She took him unawares during the midday break.

"I hope this spree of luck continues," - she thought.

\- Mr. Breacc Glas, - she said with a trembling voice as she peeped into the room where he was sitting, - can I talk to you for a moment?

He flashed a smile at her.

\- Come in.

"What a dazzler you are! I wish I could try and touch you just to make sure you are real. And you'd better button up your shirt, you know, or I'm about to faint."

The elf inspected her flaunting looks: her skirt could be mistaken for a belt, her white, web-like blouse was not concealing anything. Eredin chuckled.

\- Before you start, Cirilla, tell me why I didn't spot you in the mortuary yesterday.

\- That's exactly the reason why I came - to explain why... - she couldn't take her eyes off his collarbones and what was beneath.

\- Really? - he noticed her gaze and looked at her mockingly.

\- I just... I was... not... feeling well... you know...

\- Is that true?

He was killing her with the green of his eyes.

\- Yes... No...

\- So, yes or no?

Ciri frowned and lowered her gaze.

\- No. I couldn't make myself come over 'coz... I got scared.

\- I believe you.

\- But I'll manage the next time, I promise, - she suddenly felt so embarrassed that she forgot how to be sexy all at once.

Eredin sighed.

\- I don't think you will, Ciri. You are too sensitive for something like that.

Ciri's cheeks blushed.

\- But that's not true! I'm not worse than others.

\- Did I say "worse"?

\- You said I couldn't and that's a lie.

\- I see you're ashamed of your weakness.

\- I am not! There's hardly anyone who's not sick at the sight of the dead.

\- True. But, unlike you, all the others were present.

\- I don't get it, - Ciri shook her head, - you're denying me a second chance, or what?

\- Do you really need one? Is that what you've always dreamed of, Cirilla: to look at dead bodies for the rest of your life?

She bit her lip.

\- No...

\- That's what I thought.

\- But my dad...

\- Your dad has nothing to do with that. That's your life we're talking about, don't we?

For a while Ciri didn't know what to say.

\- I think, I got it, Mr. Breacc Glas: you don't believe in me, right?

Eredin couldn't but laugh.

\- I didn't say that, you silly girl.

\- You...

\- Ciri, listen to me. I'm not saying you should give up forensics and you are welcome to join any other group for a deadhouse tour. But I do think, you should think it all over again, because there is a slight possibility that you're ruining your life right now. And, by the way, why have you been shirking Philosophy?

\- What?

\- You're the only second-year, ignoring Mr. Caomhan's subject.

Ciri screw up her face in revulsion.

\- That's nuisance of a subject.

\- Why so?

She ignored his question.

\- Who told you I've been shirking? Mr. Caomhan?

\- Yep.

\- Don't tell me you are best friends.

\- If so, does it surprise you?

\- To be honest, it does, quite a bit. He's so... You two have nothing in common 'coz you're so...

\- Hm?

\- You're so... I don't know how to put this...

\- Just tell me what you think.

\- Amazing.

\- And Avallac'h? - Eredin grinned.

\- Repulsive!

The elf looked surprised.

\- Really? Why is that? He couldn't possibly have done anything to you - you never see him!

\- I saw him yesterday. He made me feel like a complete idiot. Douchebag!

\- That cannot be true. And that's it?

\- Well, before that, I'd seen his face only once, and I didn't like it. He looked at me... strangely, and so I thought that was enough for me, and I never attended his class again.

\- Now I got it. Avallac'h couldn't keep his face straight after all. Poor Crevan.

\- Who?

\- That's his real name - Crevan. You must forgive him: it was not you that he was mad at.

\- Who then?

\- If you give me a minute, I'll show you.

With a sigh Eredin picked up his cell-phone and for a few minutes was silent while he was browsing through the folders, looking for something. At last he turned the screen for Ciri to have a look at...

\- That's not... not me, right?

\- No. That's Lara, ten years ago.

\- The dean's daughter?

\- How do you know about her?

\- Well, I've heard the story. I just never knew that she looked exactly like me.

\- Do you understand now? - asked Eredin, looking closely at Ciri as if trying to read her thoughts.

\- Avallac'h is mad at me because we are alike?

\- He's not mad, just for a second lost control over himself.

\- That Lara really spurned him, as they say?

\- You want to know who was right and who was wrong? I have no answer to this. She loved him and then fell out of love and found somebody else.

\- How's that possible? - Ciri frowned. - Had it been the real thing, she would've never walked away.

\- I don't know, maybe you're right.

\- How are we supposed to know if it's real or not then?

\- I cannot tell you for sure, but I think "the butterflies in one's stomach" are not the sign, - he cast a meaningful glance at her. - But if you feel...

\- What?

\- ...that you're gonna die if you make just one step aside from him, then perhaps...

Ciri couldn't make herself look at him now.

\- So, as for the dead you must decide for yourself. And what concerns Crevan... Avallac'h, I think, you ought to go and see him. But then again if he's so repulsive to you - you'd better not.


	5. Chapter 5

Ciri did not yet step into the room when she was stopped dead in her tracks by the smell of the dead. Trembling like a leaf before the door, she was now sure she wouldn't let herself see what was to be seen behind that blank white wall.

Unlike her, all the others entered. They were making faces, covering their mouths, averting gazes — but they did enter. Calmly, Mr Breacc Glas followed.

"How can he be so indifferent?"

Ciri turned her back to the door lest she should accedentally see something through the round window. But the smell reached her even there, in the corridor, tickling her nostrils, making her want to puke. What a shame: Eredin was right — she was a coward.

Giving up, Ciri went outdoors and for a while stood at the doorstep. At that moment she failed to notice either the lovely sun of May, or the lush and fresh grass at her feet.

— Grass is always exceptionally green near cemeteries, — she heard a familiar voice behind her back.

Before she could turn around, he came close enough to put his hands on her fragile shoulders. Eredin, for it was him, made her slowly face him. Put his arms around her. She hugged him back, gladly. He was radiating manly warmth, and Ciri inhaled the subtle scent of his perfume.

"Do you need to be so tall?" — thought Ciri, lifting her face to meet his extraodinary eyes. "I couldn't reach your lips even if I wished to. Would it be weird if I jumped?"

— Thank you, — whispered Ciri, tightening her grip around his waste.

— You are welcome.

— Is that it? — she felt like crying.

— I don't know, you tell me. Actually, you've been making progress. Perhaps, the next time…

— But you don't think so, right?

— It doesn't matter what I think, Ciri. And I can't see the future either.

— But you can create it.

She looked at him longingly, but he as if felt reluctant to meet her eyes. Disappointed, Ciri pressed her forehead against his chest.

— Tell me something, Mr Breacc Glas.

— Hm?

— Are you married?

She heard him chuckle.

— No.

— I see. You have a girlfriend?

— No.

— Well, then…

— Ciri, — he interrupted her, placing the tip of his finger on her lips, — I have to go. See you in class.

"You, devil of an elf," - she whispered to herself as she watched him disappear behind the door.


	6. Chapter 6

In the end, the last but one Philosophy class she did attend but hardly paid any attention to what was happening around her. Ciri felt disappointed, broken and, most of all, embarrassed. She threw her bag on a bench in the first row, made herself comfortable placing her arms on the desk and her head on her arms and prepared to have a nap. With all her might she tried not to cry in front of everybody but again, she thought, making a scene in public was so appropriately dramatic.

At first she was pre-occupied with her feelings only but then all of a sudden she heard a voice - sweet, melodious, fluty. Lulling her to sleep. Irresistible. She didn't hear the actual words but gave in to its magic. Is that the voice of a stream somewhere far far away in a fairy-tale forest? Ciri could watch it flow forever, and with it her own life was flowing to its logical end. When she was gone, would the stream be still singing its eternal song?

\- I beg your pardon, Cirilla, - the magic was all broken at once and instead of it, caressing her hearing, she felt it turn into a hiss of a viper.

She opened her eyes in panic and lifted her head.

\- I must admit, I'm flattered you've honoured us with your presence, - Avallac'h's words slapped her across the face and burned like ice. - Moreover, I've even nothing against your taking a nap right under my nose. I'm sorry for disturbing your sleep but for your own good I must tell you that you have snored and murmured, and I cannot possibly go on with the lecture unless complete silence is maintained. Mind you, I am not asking you to leave the room but I would appreciate if you took a seat at the back of the hall.

"What a detestable smile you have."

\- I am not going to move anywhere.

\- Why is that, if I may ask?

\- Because my falling asleep in your class is your fault.

He paused.

\- Will you make yourself clear?

\- Sure. We simply get bored in your class, your manner is bleak and uninteresting. You cannot hold audience spellbound - that's it.

The elf's face went pale, and he froze on the spot. He was still for so long which seemed to Ciri hardly possible to perform. Was he alive at all or was he a mere marble statue that by miracle only once had had a chance to move?

It was the sound of the bell that finally unfroze him. He got up silently and left the room with the swiftness and grace of a shadow.

* * *

\- Ciri, are you totally nuts to have told him a thing like that? - bellowed Yennifer at her. - We haven't got our pass yet. When we've got our grades, you can say whatever the fuck you want, BUT NOT BEFORE THAT! If you've blown his mind now and we have to cram for the final test, I'll kill you, can you hear me?

\- Fuck off...

\- You're telling me to fuck off? You know what? If you like him and he likes you back, you don't have to make a scene in front of everybody.

\- What?

\- You think I'm stupid? A woman would only say such things to a guy if she fancies him. Be honest at least with yourself. And then it would be wise of you to go and tell him how you feel and spread your legs before him. Maybe it would make you a little happier, and him as well, and all of us too, come to that.

\- What a bitch, - babbled Ciri to herself watching Yenn leave. - And I do not fancy him at all. In fact, I like someone else, also a prick though. Like all of them.


End file.
